Monthly Archives: December 2011

Make It Your New Years Resolution:

Excerpt from “You Should Date An Illiterate Girl,” by Charles Warnke:

“Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. …You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.”

For the full text on why dating a girl who knows how to read will in veritably be a supernova of failure, here you go, you masochists.

Tagged ,

“A Literary Chili Cheeseburger”: Broetry, by Brian McGackin

“I have finished/the beer/that was in/the icebox/and which/you were probably/saving/for Friday/Forgive me/this girl came over/so sweet/and so hot.”

So begins “Broetry,” a collection of “poetry for dudes” by Brian McGackin. Humorous, short, sweet, and to the point, like a beer and fries after twenty meals of steak and wine, “Broetry” is also much more than it initially seems.  McGackin touches on topics from hangovers, girlfriends, roommates, and the poverty of being a 20-something right out of college. Surprisingly, though, this seemingly jocular read is startlingly touching.  Written in blank verse, McGackin’s frankness on love, happiness, and masculinity are shrouded behind a layer of comedic relief, and for that, his poems are all the more emotive.  We can appreciate his disillusionment because he speaks in layman’s language; his musings on love and girls are painfully honest in their simplicity (the hilarious illustrations are also a plus!).

For a short, yet honest, look at the average life of a “dude,” like, totally check that sh*t out, bro.

Preach, Brother.

-William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream